Why is it that when it comes time to decorate the house, women feel the need to take responsibility? They even feel they should know what to do and how to do it. In fact, I have found that many women feel insecure in this area and are afraid to admit it.
The truth of the matter is, we are not born knowing how to decorate a home. This is something we learn. However, the pressure on women is immense, which can bring about a feeling of desperation.
Traditionally, women have assumed that they are the ones who “should” know how to decorate, and it is hard to admit when they don’t. Many women even want to learn. Usually, it is the woman of the house who is more involved in decorating, and even when working with an interior designer, they find decorating to be a struggle and frustrating.
I have had many design clients in which the husband has taken the initiative and been my contact person and been more involved. However, I know this is not the norm. Often husbands put this pressure on their wives, expecting them to do it all.
It concerns me when a client tells me that she has asked someone to give her opinion as to how something looks. On one hand, I understand the need for a second opinion – someone else may see something previously overlooked because they aren’t as close to the situation. Yet, there are those that take the word of other people over their own feelings and thoughts, and listen to them, rather than trust what they feel and know. The sad part is, they end up living in someone else’s taste.
A difficult factor in decision making is spending the money it takes to completely furnish a room. You have to consider the furniture layout and color scheme.
You also have to understand what comprises style. Style alone has several components to address, such as what you like, what goes with the style of the home, how to combine styles, then making sure everything blends. It’s important to have product knowledge because it’s helpful to know what the products can do for you as well as where to find the products you are looking for.
If your sense is to use a particular color or different fabric — do it. You might even select an unusual piece of furniture. If you aren’t sure you selected the right thing, ask yourself if you would like living with it and seeing it every day — that is the true test. It’s important not to be concerned about what other people will say.
At one of my recent speaking engagements, an older lady in the audience tearfully shared with me that her dream had always been to have a red room. Her husband and friends thought she had lost her mind and laughed at her desire.
She said it took her a long time to overcome their objections but one day, not so long ago, she decided to go ahead and had the room painted in her favorite red tone. She loves her new room and now her husband and friends understand that she was right. She followed her heart.
When you feel desperate about a decision, ask yourself if it will make you happy. If you can say yes to this question, it is the right design choice and will give you decorating bliss.
Remember, rooms have no feelings, you do.
Barbara Kaplan, creator of the Bajaro Method for personalized interior design, offers individual interior design consultations for guidance, ideas and solutions to make your home truly yours. Contact her at Barbara@BarbaraKaplan.com.