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Why are women expected to know how to decorate a home? Traditionally, when a woman gets married she is expected to be the one to decorate the home. Even before she is married, she may feel the responsibility to be the homemaker and therefore the family decorator. Bachelors are considered inept in this area and always seeking help with buying and making furnishings decisions.
Well, this isn’t true! This has not been my experience in my practice. In very many cases, the husband has been very involved and in several cases taken over the project and worked mainly with me. I am not sure why, but one answer may be that I always engage the husband and actually insist he be part of the first or second meeting with me. Once this happens, he becomes more comfortable and the mystery of decorating is dissolved and the fear becomes minimized or completely removed. He is now experiencing the process and therefore appreciates his wife’s efforts and feels important to her and to the process.
I have seen it many times: connecting in this way strengthens relationships and brings couples closer. Contrary to what sometimes is said – that building a home or decorating can be stressful – when everyone feels important to the project and that their input is valued, the project improves and so does the relationship.
There is another benefit. This collaboration has also proven to result in a distinctive design outcome because both people bring their taste and style to the project resulting in a one-of-a-kind blend that is unique to the couple. I like to call this 1 + 1 = 3. They have now created a “look” that is solely theirs. We don’t want to live in someone else’s taste and style, particularly if we really don’t like it, but when there is discussion and we bring in the three elements of the Bajaro Method: understanding, accepting, allowing; then there is harmony and the project can move forward. It also results in a happy outcome when the project is completed. It will eliminate mistakes and needless expenditure.
On the other hand, the single person has the opportunity to totally express themselves in his or her most personal environment – the home. It’s important before beginning to make decorating changes or choices to explore your taste, separate from what you grew up with or have become influenced by through friends or media. Then you can create an environment that is truly yours and in which you feel connected and comfortable.
The most important thing to remember, when decorating for yourself or with someone else is that it has to “feel right” and to recognize when it doesn’t. You may not know why, but your feeling is real and you must listen to it. If it feels right you will love your design choices and feel happy living in the space you created.
Always remember, rooms have no feelings, YOU do!
You don’t have to go to the Antiques Roadshow! We have J.Levine Auction & Gallery. For special finds, appraisals and fun! MORE!
David E Adler Fine Rugs announces their new location at 7000 E. Indian School Road, Scottsdale, AZ 85251. Come by for a visit! MORE!
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Your home is the most important outward expression of who you are, after your physical body. The way we treat ourselves – what we eat, how much exercise and rest we get, and all the other daily decisions we make about our body including, our appearance – speaks volumes about who we are.
Our home becomes an extension of our body and soul. It is our sanctuary where we can be real and heal. Like our bodies, it is the expression of all our thoughts and desires, our fears and doubts. Home is the safe haven for our body, mind and spirit.
Keeping this in mind…what does your most personal environment look like? Does your home have the look and feel of comfort and fun? Does your home support and reflect who you are? When people come into your home do they see you?
When someone comes into your home they are seeing the real you. James Allen wrote in, As A Man Thinketh, “Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are. Therefore, your home is a reflection of you, as you are right now.
Your home may no longer feel in sync with who you are today. It may have lost its continuity and harmony with your needs. Possibly you have outgrown or become bored with your surroundings. A new energy may be needed. If that’s the case read on. I have answers for you.
This is the time to begin your journey of reevaluation and redesign. It may be as much as a move to a new location, a remodel or just to rearrange or refresh what you already have. The size of the project doesn’t matter as much as the specific changes you intend to make that will impact you to make a difference. Keep in mind, the walls don’t care what color they are or the floors their covering or the sofa the size and shape of the pillows…but you do. When you know what you like and all your design and decoration decisions are made to please you, the decisions become easy.
You may ask, “What about the people I live with?” Easy, this is an opportunity to open conversation about how each of you wants to live and how you can accomplish this together. It needs to be a family project with input from everyone to find what is important to all.
One of the things you can do together is look through magazines to discover what you like and, as importantly, what you don’t like. Once you think you have made a few choices, test yourself:
- Buy a can of paint and experiment with a new color on one wall.
- Bring flooring samples home to see how they look in your light.
- Throw some daring accent pillows on the sofa…you might only need one.
Observe what happens to the room and feel your reactions. Don’t make quick decisions. See how it looks at different times of day. Take your time. Get used to the changes. Begin to understand your choices. You might like one change but not another. Become aware how each change affects something else. So do one thing at a time. Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself. And most of all, trust yourself. Only you know how you want to live. Remember, rooms have no feelings, YOU do!
The Jaipur collection from Kravet features a full range of beautifully colored prints on linen and cotton. Ikat, suzani and Jacobean prints from the collection draw inspiration from ethnic and tribal influences, in addition to possessing floral attributes. These fabrics are ideal for upholstery, drapery, bedcoverings, pillows and accessories. As part of the Kravet Basics program, all fabrics in this collection are multi-purpose and can be mixed and matched for everyday use. MORE!